Standing Up For What I Believe In

Before I get into the article I read on spiritualsatanist.blogspot.com  I just wanted to say that I  have been a member of the Church of Satan since April 9, 2010.  Some people may be wondering why I'm on Venus Satanas facebook page.  Believe me, it comes with consequences but I'm strong enough to stand on my two feet.  Writing about how I feel about Satanism hasn't been easy for me and a lot of what Venus said in her article is true.  There are some Satanists out there who feel no one else's opinion matters and if you do speak your opinion, you'll get ridiculed and in some cases harassed for speaking your mind.  I go through it too and in one instance another member had read my blog "Diary of a Satanist," and was very upset with me and left a remark, "Go back to your domestic life and stop misinforming the public."  I kindly told him to go fuck himself, by asking him, "What makes you so special that you think you're the only one who has opinions and beliefs.?"  Some people say, "You dare to speak to other members like that?"  Sure, I do.  Even Peter Gilmore, the highpriest of the Church of Satan says they can't weed out all the assholes who hold a Church of Satan card.

I like writing and I like writing about Satanism because I feel it is my calling.  I like sharing what I know and what I learn from other people, and in the past two weeks that I've gotten to know Venus, I have learned a lot from her and I continue to do so.  What I didn't know when I started writing about Satanism is that you need to have a back bone and learn to stand up against others when the need arises. I didn't know that it was going to be such a big deal, that other Satanists would get offended by it.  I hear people arguing all the time that they are the true religion and you know, I grew up as a Christian and that is all I heard.  So technically, when we argue about being the true religion and harassing each other for expressing different opinions, we aren't acting any better than they are.

As I read the new article "Satanism and Spirituality- Not a Competition" by Venus Satanas it helped clear up a lot of things for me.  The article made me question my motives as to why I want to write about Satanism.  Am I doing it to compete among other members?  Am I doing it for all the wrong reasons?  Why am I really doing it?  Am I trying to be the next Anton LaVey or the lovely Venus Satanas?

The answer to the first question is, I could careless about the competition.  I do it because I love it and I have a voice that I want to be heard.  The reasons that I'm doing it is because there is so little information out there about Satanism that it isn't even funny by my standards.  I looked for books on Amazon.com and I only found a few that was any helpful.  Lulu.com is different because you can find all kinds of stuff on there about Satanism but a lot of it is misleading and untruthful and where I have writing experience, I thought it was time to take part and help change that.  And the last answer is no way do I consider being the next Anton LaVey or the Venus Satanas.  I am my own person, with my own voice, with my own beliefs.  I look up to these people because they made a difference in people's lives, they stood up for what they believed in, and no matter how rough things got, they always found a way.  But, most importantly, they made a difference in mine. 

I'm not an expert by all means.  Although I may have been a born Satanist, it was just within the past two years that I've really gotten into it.  The first year I studied and read every book I could get my hands on and this year I am writing about it as I go along which I think might be useful for others who are just starting out.  And Venus is right.  Satanism is not an easy road to travel and Satanism definitely isn't about holding a card that says you're a member of an organization.  Unfortunately, anyone can carry a membership card.