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Friday, November 5, 2010

What Lurks Behind My Eyes

I had the wierdest dream this morning and Venus Satanas was in it and I think it might've been because I had stayed up late to watch to her dance video on Youtube. I thought she was amazing considering that she was pulling herself up and spinning around the pole one handed and hanging upside with just her legs.  To pull yourself up with one arm takes incredible strength and she is definitely powerful.

In the dream, I was stumbling and falling down all over the place and it felt like I was drugged.  In my mind, I knew I was under a spell and so I got in my car, drove off to find her, ended up driving off the road into someone's yard.  They let me inside and I asked if they knew Venus Satanas and the woman looked at the guy, smiling, then said they didn't.  I knew they were lying and as I started to walk away from the house, I fainted on the road.  Later I woke up in another person's house and I still felt drugged. Outside the house were people wearing buisness suits looking for me.  Among them was Venus. So I got up looking around and there was Venus waiting for me and she was not happy with me.  I don't remember the conversation I had but she threw me down on my back and she was looking over me with her powerful eyes. I remember seeing a sentence tatooted on her arm that read something like, "The first ones to hate were the first ones who started it" or it might've been, "They were the first ones to hate and the first ones to start."  I have been thinking about that all day and don't have a clue to what it means.  The funny thing was while I was waking up, I was half conscious like I was coming around but it felt like I was being held down by something I couldn't see.  This something kept telling me to stay but my mind was shouting, "Wake up! You have got to wake up!"  I woke up as hard as it was and I felt groggy and wanted to go back to sleep to dream some more, but I finally came around not knowing where the hell I was and got ready for my meeting that I was supposed to have at noon.

In 2002, I was diagnosed with Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension and I have to mix my medicine every morning.  So I did my mix and when I swept the empty containers into the trash I also swept my car keys into the trash. I looked all over the apartment for them and then I decided to empty the waste basket.  When I laid the trash bag on the floor to put the new trash bag into the waste basket I heard the clinging sound of keys.  Sure enough, they were there.  Although I was fifteen minutes late for my meeting I was still able to see my Worker. 

This evening I finished the second version of The Unholy Scriptures and I am now taking a break from typing it up.  It will be done and uploaded on Lulu.com tomorrow...finally.  It was a fun project to work on although most of the verses were referenced to Satan but I didn't know how else to make it Unholy.  I know I'll be hearing about that but I'm a writer and that is what I do.  I write to educate people and I write to entertain people.  At first, I was going to write it up for myself because I was going to light a few black candles on Halloween and read out of it, but it wasn't done and I never got the kids to bed until late.  And I mean late.  But I thought, maybe other Satanists would like to read it so I posted the first version of it on my Satanic-Pride blog and got a lot of readers.  If I can put a smile on peoples' faces and give them something to read that they would actually enjoy reading, I don't see what it is wrong with it. There was also a part of me that wrote it from the heart cause I put a lot feeling into it.

The second version includes the verses that I didn't write up in the first version because they were sexually explicit and if some Christian (like my sister in law for instance) came around they would probably report it.  The dumb mother fuckers.  So after tomorrow I can work on my next project.  I might do some drawings and when I'm able to download the software to my camera onto my computer, I will upload them on Facebook and my websites as well.

Well, it's going on midnight and I'm going to head off to Infinity's World.  I don't quite dare to ask what I might dream about tonight,  but whatever lurks in my dreams will soon be waiting.

1 comment:

  1. Perhaps the dream showed what most of us as ex-christians seem to go through. Trying to find ourselves after years of false indoctrination and the tearing away of the feelings of guilt. I too had a similar dream about Venus. It woke me up wondering the same thing. I enjoy your writing so please keep it up. Joe

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