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Sunday, December 19, 2010

Getting My Priorities Straight

For the past month I had been away from my projects due to complications with computers and so during this time I was able to get caught up on a few projects like "The Unholy Scriptures," and "Book of the Antichrist; the Beast of Revelation 666," along with a couple of other things that needed my attention.

I completed another project called "The Satanic Pride Network" but due to wise words from a friendly acquittance and mentor I took it down and is no longer available for membership.

Why did I do this?  Well, for starters, being a leader of the herd conformity isn't who I am.  I don't want to be this Satanic icon you see everywhere you look because someone wants to be in the spotlight and Satanism (as well as other religions) is a sure way of getting there.  I don't want to mislead people into thinking that I am something that I am not and because of this, I realize not only as an individual but also as a Satanist, that I need to get my priorities straight.

The thing is, if I want to write about Satanism, I want to do it for all the right reasons.  I want to do it because I enjoy it.  To me, it isn't about the fame and it isn't about the money.  In my eyes, it's about passion.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Standing Up For What I Believe In

Before I get into the article I read on  I just wanted to say that I  have been a member of the Church of Satan since April 9, 2010.  Some people may be wondering why I'm on Venus Satanas facebook page.  Believe me, it comes with consequences but I'm strong enough to stand on my two feet.  Writing about how I feel about Satanism hasn't been easy for me and a lot of what Venus said in her article is true.  There are some Satanists out there who feel no one else's opinion matters and if you do speak your opinion, you'll get ridiculed and in some cases harassed for speaking your mind.  I go through it too and in one instance another member had read my blog "Diary of a Satanist," and was very upset with me and left a remark, "Go back to your domestic life and stop misinforming the public."  I kindly told him to go fuck himself, by asking him, "What makes you so special that you think you're the only one who has opinions and beliefs.?"  Some people say, "You dare to speak to other members like that?"  Sure, I do.  Even Peter Gilmore, the highpriest of the Church of Satan says they can't weed out all the assholes who hold a Church of Satan card.

I like writing and I like writing about Satanism because I feel it is my calling.  I like sharing what I know and what I learn from other people, and in the past two weeks that I've gotten to know Venus, I have learned a lot from her and I continue to do so.  What I didn't know when I started writing about Satanism is that you need to have a back bone and learn to stand up against others when the need arises. I didn't know that it was going to be such a big deal, that other Satanists would get offended by it.  I hear people arguing all the time that they are the true religion and you know, I grew up as a Christian and that is all I heard.  So technically, when we argue about being the true religion and harassing each other for expressing different opinions, we aren't acting any better than they are.

As I read the new article "Satanism and Spirituality- Not a Competition" by Venus Satanas it helped clear up a lot of things for me.  The article made me question my motives as to why I want to write about Satanism.  Am I doing it to compete among other members?  Am I doing it for all the wrong reasons?  Why am I really doing it?  Am I trying to be the next Anton LaVey or the lovely Venus Satanas?

The answer to the first question is, I could careless about the competition.  I do it because I love it and I have a voice that I want to be heard.  The reasons that I'm doing it is because there is so little information out there about Satanism that it isn't even funny by my standards.  I looked for books on and I only found a few that was any helpful. is different because you can find all kinds of stuff on there about Satanism but a lot of it is misleading and untruthful and where I have writing experience, I thought it was time to take part and help change that.  And the last answer is no way do I consider being the next Anton LaVey or the Venus Satanas.  I am my own person, with my own voice, with my own beliefs.  I look up to these people because they made a difference in people's lives, they stood up for what they believed in, and no matter how rough things got, they always found a way.  But, most importantly, they made a difference in mine. 

I'm not an expert by all means.  Although I may have been a born Satanist, it was just within the past two years that I've really gotten into it.  The first year I studied and read every book I could get my hands on and this year I am writing about it as I go along which I think might be useful for others who are just starting out.  And Venus is right.  Satanism is not an easy road to travel and Satanism definitely isn't about holding a card that says you're a member of an organization.  Unfortunately, anyone can carry a membership card.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

The Unholy Scriptures

What I am about to present is something that I have been working on for a few weeks now.  The Unholy Scriptures was written to mock the Jehovah Witness bible "The New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures. " This was written just for the fun of it so don't be alarmed.  The full version of The Unholy Scriptures will be available in a couple of days.  Some verses are not included with this version because they may be offensive to some viewers, meaning they are sexually explicit.

There are no gods before me for I am my own God.

I am Satan, the Adversary, the opposite of good.  I am the accuser, the Lord of Fire, the inferno.  I am the south.
I am Lucifer, the bringer of light.  I am the enlightenment and air and the morning star.  I am the east.
I am Belial, the wicked one, I am without a master.  I am the baseness of the earth and independence.  I am the north.
I am Leviathan, the serpent of the seas.  I am the west.

The Xians say we are evil but, as you can see, that is not so.  Look at the millions of people who have been slaughtered in the name of Jehovah.  Tell us, who is evil now?
While the Xians stand in our line of judgment, we, Satanists, stand together in the Organization that stands firm.
We know the way to true indulgence, the path that leads to our freedom.  And while we make ourselves plentiful, the Xians will sit back and do nothing.

Through wisdom, knowledge and power, we stand above all others.  We will not bow before anything or anyone for our true nature is serving ourselves.

In the beginning was the word and the word was with Satan.  The same was with the beginning because all things were made by him for without him these things would not be made.  Through Satan there was life and this life gave light to every living creature.  The life that gave light in the darkness became ever so brighter.  Satan, the creator of all things, gave life to every living thing that came into the world.

Praise Satan’s name with a whole and mighty heart for he does marvelous works.

Ask not what Satan can do for you but what you can do for Satan.

Blessed are they who walk in the counsel of Satan.
Blessed are they who keep their own commandments.
Blessed are they who smite their enemies hip and thigh.
Blessed are they who hate the Messiah with a whole and mighty heart.
Blessed are they who spits in the face of Christ.
Blessed are they who refuse to hear lies.

Like the god they worship, the Xians are cold, heartless, and cruel.  They have been that way since the beginning of time and they aren’t about to change now.

I am the wild who can not be tamed and forever I will be free.

The Xians consider us evil and wicked, but look at the things they have done.

Jehovah’s word is detestable and so I will burn the Holy Bible every Satanic Holiday.  I hate the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit and with Satan’s mighty sword I will strike them down.

As I have said Many times before, I will not let the thoughts of God enter my mind for I refuse to be part of the enslavement.

I drink from the cup of forbidden pleasures.  I see the truth in all lies.  I eat from the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and now my eyes have opened and I have become like God, and the sweetness on my tongue is forever more.

Teach me, Satan, the way of your statutes and I will keep them to the end.  Give me understanding and I will keep your Law.  I will observe it with a whole heart.
Make me go into the paths of Darkness for therein I do find delight.  Incline my heart to your testimonies and for this I will not refrain from my indulgences.

As I walk in the paths of Darkness, I do seek your knowledge and for this I will speak of you.  I will not be ashamed.  I will delight myself in your books which I have loved for so long and I will meditate day and night.  Help me understand your ways, Almighty Satan, and I will talk and write of your works.  It is your knowledge that caused my heart to overflow with joy.

Give me the power and knowledge that I so desire for I do believe in your works.  Before I was afflicted with guilt and confusion and so I went astray.  But now I have come to my senses and I am ready to be like you.  You are good to me and because of this the Xians have forged a lie against me.  It does not matter for I have learned your ways.

O Satan, how I love your Law!  It is meditation day and night.  Through your ways I have been made wiser than any of my enemies for they are far beneath me.  I have more understanding than all of my teachers because you have given it to me.  I understand more than the ancient gods and goddesses because I continue to walk in the path of Darkness.  I will never depart from you.  Satan, you have taught me well.  O how sweet your works are to my taste; they are sweeter than anything I have ever tasted.

Hail Satan, the Prince of Darkness, the infernal Lord of Hell!
Be with me, Almighty Satan, as I perform this Unholy ceremony
Guide me through the darkest of life’s challenges and help me keep my faith in you strong.  Give me the strength to conquer my fears, to understand that life is full of uncertainties.  Make my enemies perish with whatever means necessary.  Watch over me, Almighty Satan, and keep me from harm.  Walk with me today and every day.
During this Unholy ceremony, I dedicate my mind, body, and soul.
Hail Satan!

The Will of Satan is the Law.  The gifts of sin are the deeds done in this world for he who strengthens the self gains mastery of the self.

(c) Copyright by Infinity Diabolus

Friday, November 5, 2010

What Lurks Behind My Eyes

I had the wierdest dream this morning and Venus Satanas was in it and I think it might've been because I had stayed up late to watch to her dance video on Youtube. I thought she was amazing considering that she was pulling herself up and spinning around the pole one handed and hanging upside with just her legs.  To pull yourself up with one arm takes incredible strength and she is definitely powerful.

In the dream, I was stumbling and falling down all over the place and it felt like I was drugged.  In my mind, I knew I was under a spell and so I got in my car, drove off to find her, ended up driving off the road into someone's yard.  They let me inside and I asked if they knew Venus Satanas and the woman looked at the guy, smiling, then said they didn't.  I knew they were lying and as I started to walk away from the house, I fainted on the road.  Later I woke up in another person's house and I still felt drugged. Outside the house were people wearing buisness suits looking for me.  Among them was Venus. So I got up looking around and there was Venus waiting for me and she was not happy with me.  I don't remember the conversation I had but she threw me down on my back and she was looking over me with her powerful eyes. I remember seeing a sentence tatooted on her arm that read something like, "The first ones to hate were the first ones who started it" or it might've been, "They were the first ones to hate and the first ones to start."  I have been thinking about that all day and don't have a clue to what it means.  The funny thing was while I was waking up, I was half conscious like I was coming around but it felt like I was being held down by something I couldn't see.  This something kept telling me to stay but my mind was shouting, "Wake up! You have got to wake up!"  I woke up as hard as it was and I felt groggy and wanted to go back to sleep to dream some more, but I finally came around not knowing where the hell I was and got ready for my meeting that I was supposed to have at noon.

In 2002, I was diagnosed with Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension and I have to mix my medicine every morning.  So I did my mix and when I swept the empty containers into the trash I also swept my car keys into the trash. I looked all over the apartment for them and then I decided to empty the waste basket.  When I laid the trash bag on the floor to put the new trash bag into the waste basket I heard the clinging sound of keys.  Sure enough, they were there.  Although I was fifteen minutes late for my meeting I was still able to see my Worker. 

This evening I finished the second version of The Unholy Scriptures and I am now taking a break from typing it up.  It will be done and uploaded on tomorrow...finally.  It was a fun project to work on although most of the verses were referenced to Satan but I didn't know how else to make it Unholy.  I know I'll be hearing about that but I'm a writer and that is what I do.  I write to educate people and I write to entertain people.  At first, I was going to write it up for myself because I was going to light a few black candles on Halloween and read out of it, but it wasn't done and I never got the kids to bed until late.  And I mean late.  But I thought, maybe other Satanists would like to read it so I posted the first version of it on my Satanic-Pride blog and got a lot of readers.  If I can put a smile on peoples' faces and give them something to read that they would actually enjoy reading, I don't see what it is wrong with it. There was also a part of me that wrote it from the heart cause I put a lot feeling into it.

The second version includes the verses that I didn't write up in the first version because they were sexually explicit and if some Christian (like my sister in law for instance) came around they would probably report it.  The dumb mother fuckers.  So after tomorrow I can work on my next project.  I might do some drawings and when I'm able to download the software to my camera onto my computer, I will upload them on Facebook and my websites as well.

Well, it's going on midnight and I'm going to head off to Infinity's World.  I don't quite dare to ask what I might dream about tonight,  but whatever lurks in my dreams will soon be waiting.

Friday, October 29, 2010

What Satanism Is To Me

Satanism, depending on the tradition the Satanist is involved in, comes in many forms.  Some Satanists believe Satanism is the worship of Satan as a deity while others believe he is an entity, a being, a force of nature, or a symbol representing freedom and indulgence.  Although there is controversy as to who is right and who is wrong, I think it is up to the individual.

To me Satanism is believing in yourself.  If you didn't believe in yourself than nothing else would matter.  Satanism wouldn't be as effective without the self belief of the individual and would be just an empty shell with no meaning.  To me he is not only a force of nature, or a reservoir of power that each and every one of us has within that we can tap into at will, but he is also a symbol that I choose to wear around my neck. He is also a symbol of man's pride. 
But the bottom line is this:  Satanism is about YOU and finding the path that is right for you.               

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What Is Satanism?

In yesterday's post, I had mentioned that buning the Holy Bible, burning crosses upside down, and burning money wasn't what made a person a Satanist, however, I do believe that it is part of how a ritual ceremony may be performed.  Although, I haven't performed any rituals as of yet,  I do hear Satanists say they plan their rituals ahead of time and add whatever they want to it.  If I was going to do rituals, hell yeah, maybe I would burn the Holy Bible, burn a cross upside down, or maybe burn a dollar to defile the government just to intensify the ritual, but I think it depends on each individual.  

So today, I took my binder, wrote on a fresh clean piece of paper, and wrote "What Is Satanism?"  Beneath the heading, I wrote out a list that looked like this.  Satanism is.... Believing in yourself, the worship of the self,  opposing Christianity and everything it stands for, being the opposite of what is supposed to be good in Christian mythology,  indulging in the pleasures of the flesh, living to the best of your ability, becoming more than you are as both an individual and a Satanist, and believing in the creative aspects of your life.

For the time being, I will contemplate on this list and when I write tomorrow's post I will answer the question, "What Is Satanism To Me?"

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

How Pleasant Life Can Be When We Least Expect It

I woke up this morning, logged into Facebook, and got a pleasant surprise from Venus Satanas.  Oh, yeah!  I just about died.  Apparently, she likes the project I'm working on and said she would be posting the link to this blog on Spiritual Satanist and that she is following it and also subscribed to it.  How awesome is that?  Well, I think it's pretty fucking awesome myself.  If she could only see the smile she brought to my face,  then she would know just how much it really means to me.

Today was very busy.  I spent a good portion of it working on my website which I have to say, absolutely rocks.  I love how the images turned out for the background and, of course, I have a black and white pentagram on the front page.  I'm really impressed with myself.  I enjoy setting up websites and designing them myself cause it really shows that I put a lot of work into my projects.  I wouldn't have it any other way. The design on this blog is what I used for the background.  I uploaded the images from my computer so I could use them.

People ask me if I have someone design websites for me and when I tell them I do it all myself and I show them what I've done, they tell me I'm pretty intelligent.  I'll admit it, I AM. 

The artwork I can do myself cause I am also a self-taught artist.  That is all I did in school and I ended up being called a "devil worshipper" because of the skulls I drew and stuff like that.  As if that makes you a devil worshipper.  I hate people sometimes.  Some people are just plain ignorant.  I can't stand them!  That was around '89 and I was just a ninth grader during the Satanic Panic.  Lucky me.  I did think it was funny when Geraldo Rivera got his nose broken although someone should've stepped on his head.  Makes me mad thinking about the crap they stirred back then.  What fucking hell I went through at home though.

I had bought The Satanic Bible from this kid at school which didn't help matters any and I had left it on my desk when I had gone to school the next day.  Well, my mom had just finished doing laundry (so she said) and put my clothes away when she happened to see The Satanic Bible.  She went through the roof.  She threw it away which I didn't have a chance to read, picked up my sister at her apartment cause she had errands to do, and told her about it.  My sister, having experience and all, had to come to the rescue.  She bought me this book at the drug store called "Satan's Underground," by Lauren Stratford or something like that and they made me read it hoping it would scare me.  Naw!  I weren't scared.  I just grew more interested in what Satanism was really about.  Now, look at me.  I'm a Satanist.  How ironic is that?

My sister wasn't a Satanist at all.  Just because her and her doped up husband (and they were all on drugs) burned the Holy Bible, burned crosses upside down, and would burn money, doesn't make you a Satanist.  Besides, my sister killed herself with a gun in June of 2008.  Does that make her a Satanist?  No it doesn't.  She didn't have what it took.  I do.  Afterall, I'm still standing and I will be the last one to fall.

So anyway, back to my busy day.  I carved and painted pumpkins with the kids.  I have two boys and one girl.  Damon is ten, William is 8, and Susan is 13.  I have my hands full that's for sure.  I was trying to cook supper and work on the computer too and the food started to burn on the stove.  My daughter started coughing, opened a window, and said, "Mom, get in here!  You're going to kill us with your cooking."  I couldn't help from laughing.  It was funny how she said it.  We have good times together.  All we do is laugh at the funniest things we say.  And we do say some pretty silly things.

Another good thing that happened today is that I finally found a name for Infinity.  Infinity Pride who walks in stride. Lol!

Well, it's getting late and I think I'm going to finish my Smirnoff and head off to dream land.  I wonder what I'll dream about tonight?  Hmmm, I'll have to wait and see.

Monday, October 25, 2010

An Introduction

The new project I'm working on is called "The Diary of a Satanist" and this is a part of that project because everything I write on this blog is going to be put into a book.  So first of all, I would like to tell you a little about myself before I proceed into the Unknown.

My Satanic name is Infinity but I didn't have a last name to put with it until now- I'll get that in a minute,  but where I have three small children and live in a small town where everyone knows everyones' business, as much as I hate hiding behind a secret identity, I feel it is a necessity to me and my family to write under a different name.  I gave myself the name Infinity about a year ago because my ideas are many and no one knows what I'm doing from one minute to the next.  I have many projects and I work on them little by little each day depending how well my computer is working for me.  Somedays I would just like to pick the thing up and throw out the window next to my desk.  Of course, I always convince myself not to because until I can get a better one this piece of shit desktop is all I have.  And I tell you, I've gone through two laptops in two years but my desktop is "old reliable."  When all other computers fail, my Compaq Presario is always there waiting for my return. 

I guess it shouldn't be a big deal to have a Satanic name because everyone seems to like it and it does fit me.   It does look pretty good in print and I do have to say that it sounds good as well.  It took me a few days of brainstorming but I'm picky and that isn't always a bad thing. Not for a Satanist anyway.  But I have a couple of last names that I'm debating over which is Satanis or Luciferi-Excelsi.  Like I said, I'm picky.

My background isn't all that different from most Satanists.  As a child, my mother was a born again Christian and so me, my brother, and my sister all had to go to church.  I went to church every Sunday from 9-12 then again in the evening from 6-8.  I attended the Awana Club for three years and won two trophies for receiving the most points.  I even attended a summer camp called Circle L for two summers in a row.  During the closing ceremony my mom wanted to me to receive Christ as my savior and at the age of 11 I didn't have much choice.  I remember my mom practically pushing me out of the pew to go up front.  Two years later, I was baptized.  I hated it and eventually my mother had to go to work after my father died and so we weren't made to go anymore.

You're probably wondering, "What does this have to do with anything?"  Well, for starters, if you're a Satanist who has a similiar background, you might be struggling day to day with what you were brought up to believe in about Christianity.  Second, I can tell you how I managed not to struggle with my faith in Satanism even though I was a Christian.  And while we're on that topic, I will continue.

The main thing is having an open mind.  You can't get into Satanism if your mind is closed to the Unknown.  You have to expect the unexpected and listen to what your heart is telling you.

You have to get rid of the fear that keeps you from exploring the Unknown.  Christianity places fear into the heart of the believer so they won't wander away from the teachings of God.  This was the second thing I did, and I did this by reading The Satanic Bible written by Anton Szandor LaVey and whatever else I could get my hands on.  To me, it was like taking the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and sinking my teeth into it.  The flavor tasted sweet to my tongue and it was then that my eyes opened to the teachings of Satan.  In the year that I've been into Satanism, I have not looked back once.

I am happy with what I have found because I was a Satanist all along.  It just took me awhile to figure out what made me so special.  I've come across people who said there was something special about me and I  knew it too, but I just couldn't figure it out.  I had only wished people would stop telling me how special I was and would tell me what made me special.  Well, I finally figured that out by taking the first two steps mentioned above. 

You also have to remember that some people are born into Christianity and some people aren't.  It goes for Satanism as well.  Some are born into it, some people aren't.  Are you a born Satanist?  And how can you tell if you are?  Only you can answer the question and you can do that by digging deep into yourself.