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Friday, October 29, 2010

What Satanism Is To Me

Satanism, depending on the tradition the Satanist is involved in, comes in many forms.  Some Satanists believe Satanism is the worship of Satan as a deity while others believe he is an entity, a being, a force of nature, or a symbol representing freedom and indulgence.  Although there is controversy as to who is right and who is wrong, I think it is up to the individual.

To me Satanism is believing in yourself.  If you didn't believe in yourself than nothing else would matter.  Satanism wouldn't be as effective without the self belief of the individual and would be just an empty shell with no meaning.  To me he is not only a force of nature, or a reservoir of power that each and every one of us has within that we can tap into at will, but he is also a symbol that I choose to wear around my neck. He is also a symbol of man's pride. 
But the bottom line is this:  Satanism is about YOU and finding the path that is right for you.               

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What Is Satanism?

In yesterday's post, I had mentioned that buning the Holy Bible, burning crosses upside down, and burning money wasn't what made a person a Satanist, however, I do believe that it is part of how a ritual ceremony may be performed.  Although, I haven't performed any rituals as of yet,  I do hear Satanists say they plan their rituals ahead of time and add whatever they want to it.  If I was going to do rituals, hell yeah, maybe I would burn the Holy Bible, burn a cross upside down, or maybe burn a dollar to defile the government just to intensify the ritual, but I think it depends on each individual.  

So today, I took my binder, wrote on a fresh clean piece of paper, and wrote "What Is Satanism?"  Beneath the heading, I wrote out a list that looked like this.  Satanism is.... Believing in yourself, the worship of the self,  opposing Christianity and everything it stands for, being the opposite of what is supposed to be good in Christian mythology,  indulging in the pleasures of the flesh, living to the best of your ability, becoming more than you are as both an individual and a Satanist, and believing in the creative aspects of your life.

For the time being, I will contemplate on this list and when I write tomorrow's post I will answer the question, "What Is Satanism To Me?"

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

How Pleasant Life Can Be When We Least Expect It

I woke up this morning, logged into Facebook, and got a pleasant surprise from Venus Satanas.  Oh, yeah!  I just about died.  Apparently, she likes the project I'm working on and said she would be posting the link to this blog on Spiritual Satanist and that she is following it and also subscribed to it.  How awesome is that?  Well, I think it's pretty fucking awesome myself.  If she could only see the smile she brought to my face,  then she would know just how much it really means to me.

Today was very busy.  I spent a good portion of it working on my website which I have to say, absolutely rocks.  I love how the images turned out for the background and, of course, I have a black and white pentagram on the front page.  I'm really impressed with myself.  I enjoy setting up websites and designing them myself cause it really shows that I put a lot of work into my projects.  I wouldn't have it any other way. The design on this blog is what I used for the background.  I uploaded the images from my computer so I could use them.

People ask me if I have someone design websites for me and when I tell them I do it all myself and I show them what I've done, they tell me I'm pretty intelligent.  I'll admit it, I AM. 

The artwork I can do myself cause I am also a self-taught artist.  That is all I did in school and I ended up being called a "devil worshipper" because of the skulls I drew and stuff like that.  As if that makes you a devil worshipper.  I hate people sometimes.  Some people are just plain ignorant.  I can't stand them!  That was around '89 and I was just a ninth grader during the Satanic Panic.  Lucky me.  I did think it was funny when Geraldo Rivera got his nose broken although someone should've stepped on his head.  Makes me mad thinking about the crap they stirred back then.  What fucking hell I went through at home though.

I had bought The Satanic Bible from this kid at school which didn't help matters any and I had left it on my desk when I had gone to school the next day.  Well, my mom had just finished doing laundry (so she said) and put my clothes away when she happened to see The Satanic Bible.  She went through the roof.  She threw it away which I didn't have a chance to read, picked up my sister at her apartment cause she had errands to do, and told her about it.  My sister, having experience and all, had to come to the rescue.  She bought me this book at the drug store called "Satan's Underground," by Lauren Stratford or something like that and they made me read it hoping it would scare me.  Naw!  I weren't scared.  I just grew more interested in what Satanism was really about.  Now, look at me.  I'm a Satanist.  How ironic is that?

My sister wasn't a Satanist at all.  Just because her and her doped up husband (and they were all on drugs) burned the Holy Bible, burned crosses upside down, and would burn money, doesn't make you a Satanist.  Besides, my sister killed herself with a gun in June of 2008.  Does that make her a Satanist?  No it doesn't.  She didn't have what it took.  I do.  Afterall, I'm still standing and I will be the last one to fall.

So anyway, back to my busy day.  I carved and painted pumpkins with the kids.  I have two boys and one girl.  Damon is ten, William is 8, and Susan is 13.  I have my hands full that's for sure.  I was trying to cook supper and work on the computer too and the food started to burn on the stove.  My daughter started coughing, opened a window, and said, "Mom, get in here!  You're going to kill us with your cooking."  I couldn't help from laughing.  It was funny how she said it.  We have good times together.  All we do is laugh at the funniest things we say.  And we do say some pretty silly things.

Another good thing that happened today is that I finally found a name for Infinity.  Infinity Pride who walks in stride. Lol!

Well, it's getting late and I think I'm going to finish my Smirnoff and head off to dream land.  I wonder what I'll dream about tonight?  Hmmm, I'll have to wait and see.

Monday, October 25, 2010

An Introduction

The new project I'm working on is called "The Diary of a Satanist" and this is a part of that project because everything I write on this blog is going to be put into a book.  So first of all, I would like to tell you a little about myself before I proceed into the Unknown.

My Satanic name is Infinity but I didn't have a last name to put with it until now- I'll get that in a minute,  but where I have three small children and live in a small town where everyone knows everyones' business, as much as I hate hiding behind a secret identity, I feel it is a necessity to me and my family to write under a different name.  I gave myself the name Infinity about a year ago because my ideas are many and no one knows what I'm doing from one minute to the next.  I have many projects and I work on them little by little each day depending how well my computer is working for me.  Somedays I would just like to pick the thing up and throw out the window next to my desk.  Of course, I always convince myself not to because until I can get a better one this piece of shit desktop is all I have.  And I tell you, I've gone through two laptops in two years but my desktop is "old reliable."  When all other computers fail, my Compaq Presario is always there waiting for my return. 

I guess it shouldn't be a big deal to have a Satanic name because everyone seems to like it and it does fit me.   It does look pretty good in print and I do have to say that it sounds good as well.  It took me a few days of brainstorming but I'm picky and that isn't always a bad thing. Not for a Satanist anyway.  But I have a couple of last names that I'm debating over which is Satanis or Luciferi-Excelsi.  Like I said, I'm picky.

My background isn't all that different from most Satanists.  As a child, my mother was a born again Christian and so me, my brother, and my sister all had to go to church.  I went to church every Sunday from 9-12 then again in the evening from 6-8.  I attended the Awana Club for three years and won two trophies for receiving the most points.  I even attended a summer camp called Circle L for two summers in a row.  During the closing ceremony my mom wanted to me to receive Christ as my savior and at the age of 11 I didn't have much choice.  I remember my mom practically pushing me out of the pew to go up front.  Two years later, I was baptized.  I hated it and eventually my mother had to go to work after my father died and so we weren't made to go anymore.

You're probably wondering, "What does this have to do with anything?"  Well, for starters, if you're a Satanist who has a similiar background, you might be struggling day to day with what you were brought up to believe in about Christianity.  Second, I can tell you how I managed not to struggle with my faith in Satanism even though I was a Christian.  And while we're on that topic, I will continue.

The main thing is having an open mind.  You can't get into Satanism if your mind is closed to the Unknown.  You have to expect the unexpected and listen to what your heart is telling you.

You have to get rid of the fear that keeps you from exploring the Unknown.  Christianity places fear into the heart of the believer so they won't wander away from the teachings of God.  This was the second thing I did, and I did this by reading The Satanic Bible written by Anton Szandor LaVey and whatever else I could get my hands on.  To me, it was like taking the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and sinking my teeth into it.  The flavor tasted sweet to my tongue and it was then that my eyes opened to the teachings of Satan.  In the year that I've been into Satanism, I have not looked back once.

I am happy with what I have found because I was a Satanist all along.  It just took me awhile to figure out what made me so special.  I've come across people who said there was something special about me and I  knew it too, but I just couldn't figure it out.  I had only wished people would stop telling me how special I was and would tell me what made me special.  Well, I finally figured that out by taking the first two steps mentioned above. 

You also have to remember that some people are born into Christianity and some people aren't.  It goes for Satanism as well.  Some are born into it, some people aren't.  Are you a born Satanist?  And how can you tell if you are?  Only you can answer the question and you can do that by digging deep into yourself.